It is not (at all) uncommon that your twin flame married already. Twin flames can meet at any stage of life and often have never even heard of the term twin flame which means they didn’t know they were looking for you – until it was too late.
Your twin flame might have involved with a false twin flame (such as a karmic partner or a soulmate) and that might even be a happy marriage. Even a happy marriage does not compare to a twin flame journey, however.
If your twin flame is already married, there can be some additional complexity involved in the journey as you navigate these tricky waters while trying not to put pressure on your twin flame or hurt the other person involved.
It’s completely normal that you might feel hurt, frustrated or jealous in this situation. How you navigate these feelings, however, is important. If you push too hard it might end up backfiring against you and remember this the third parties (whether this is your spouse or your twins) are not actively trying to hurt your journey. This might even be a stage of their own twin flame journey with someone else.
Understand False Twin Flames
If you take nothing else away from this – take a moment to watch this video on false twin flames. Whether they’re legally married or not, they serve a purpose on the journey and it’s important you understand why they’re there, to begin with.
What Does it Mean if My Twin Flame is Married?
I’ve looked at twin flames in other relationships before but marriage can add some extra complexity. The legal ones won’t matter so much in the scheme of things, but the pressures of society and those around us can make it… trickier.
“The twin flame relationship is a mirror, in which each of you sees yourself more clearly. In the presence of your partner, there will always be an aspect of yourselves that exists only for and because they are present.” ~Dr. Brian Lauterbach
If your twin flame is married to someone else it means one or both partners is simply not ready for union.
If you’re getting Deja Vu from me saying this it’s because I say it a lot. If you’re not in union – it’s because you have healing to do and don’t fall into the trap of thinking it’s just on them because they’re married.
When twin flames are actively ready and searching for their twin they’re not married. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your journey and it doesn’t mean you won’t reach union with your twin flame. It just means you have work still to do.
What if YOU are Married?
It really doesn’t matter if it’s you or your twin flame married. In some ways, this would mean you don’t feel like you’re waiting on them which might be easier – but then you are going to need to have an awkward conversation with your spouse.
I speak to a lot of people on their twin flame journey and it’s not at all uncommon for both twins to be married when they finally meet in the 3D.
Don’t Feel Jealous of a Married Twin Flame
It’s not easy to watch them with someone else. You might worry about what they’re doing together or if your twin is going to change his mind. In the long-term remember that the twin flame connection is not a conscious choice. They can’t change their mind.
The idea of being married can still be a draw for some people, even if they don’t want it or need it now, just because that is what society has taught us is success in life and love.
Sometimes that can be a hard trap to escape from and a shift is highly unlikely to happen overnight.
But it’s important to remember this. The twin flame journey is one of self-growth and the only way to progress and be ready for union is to learn to balance these feelings of jealousy and frustration.
Of course, it can be hard to see your twin flame with their spouse. It’s natural to feel jealousy, but it is important not to act on those feelings.
It can be hard when your twin flame is already married because of the additional complexity this brings into an already difficult journey. Be patient with your twin, with yourself and with any third parties involved.
This doesn’t mean you should just sit back and wait, however. I say this all the time but twin flame failure is possible if we’re just crossing our fingers and hoping for the best.
You Also Shouldn’t Feel Guilty
We’re traditionally taught that you shouldn’t be a home-wrecker and if someone you’re interested in is married you should immediately back away.
The twin flame connection is much different from a normal relationship. It isn’t that their marriage doesn’t matter (and we do need to be careful how we manage that) but the connection of a legal piece of paper doesn’t compare to the spiritual bond of a mirror soul.
This guilt comes from society. From what we’ve learned about 2D traditional relationships. It does not come from our higher selves.
For example, I’ve talked about if twin flames get married and (to cut a long story short) I really don’t think it matters. The twin flame journey is difficult enough without adding a legal contract to it.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what we call it. What label we put on it. It’s not just a relationship with another person – it’s finding the other half of your soul and reuniting with it.
Talk to Your Twin Flame About Their Marriage
It can be tempting to completely ignore the subject but talking to your twin flame about their marriage (or your marriage if you’re the one married) is the best way forward.
Talk about the idea of divorce in an open and loving way so that both parties know where they stand. If there is a chance your twin flame might leave their spouse for you, it’s important to talk about how this would work logistically in the 3D.
Again, be patient with them.
Depending on where you are with your twin flame journey they might still be experiencing doubt. The pressures of already being married can make this doubt even harder to deal with and you’ll need to trust they’ll figure this out.
In my experience, it’s all about being patient. While the twin flame journey is often filled with highs and lows, usually moments of doubt are followed by an even higher revelation or understanding.
Talk to your twin flame about what needs to happen in order for them to leave their spouse but be willing to wait if they’re not ready yet.
What About Their Spouse?
It can be easy to blame their spouse for getting in the way of your journey. I’ve talked about false twin flames in more detail before but the main thing to remember is they’re not acting against you.
False twin flames come in many different shapes and sizes and there’s every chance they are on their own twin flame journey with someone else (whether they know it or not). To them, your twin flame might be their karmic partner.
Don’t blame them. They’ve done nothing wrong but follow the expectations of society to get married.
Don’t try and contact them. Trust your twin to handle it and if you do ever come into contact with them treat them with respect.
If for no other reason than the twin flame journey towards union is about self-acceptance, love and healing. So do it for your own sake, if not for theirs.
It might seem obvious to you (and your twin) that you’re better suited together. The twin flame journey is most often only obvious to the two people involved, however. Every person has their own journey (though, not everyone has a twin flame) and part of your twin’s journey was being married to this other person.
In whatever form that took, it was part of their path which led them to you.
What to Do If Your Twin Fame is Married to Someone Else
While it might be a frustrating answer – there’s nothing specific you should really do if your twin flame is already married.
You can’t control what your twin flame does and it’s not up to you or anyone else. This is actually a very healthy way to look at the entire twin flame journey. The focus should always be internal.
Maybe their marriage is happy, maybe they’re looking for divorce – there might be karmic reasons too. It all depends on the journey of each person involved in this situation.
The best thing that you can do is nourish yourself. Focus on your own spiritual growth and help your twin to do the same.
This will help you to make the best decisions for your own life and how you want to be in this world. If they’re unhappy, that’s not a good sign so you might need to cut them out of your life or at least try to limit contact with them until they find themselves again.
There’s no easy answer here. I can’t give you a simple A-Z which is going to convince your twin flame to get divorced and be with you. I already have a guide on attracting your twin flame and that is exactly what I think you should do whether they are married or not.
I wouldn’t want to, even if it was possible. How you navigate these waters is exactly how you should navigate the twin flame journey. Even if you could simply remove their marriage there’s still going to be work to do before you’re ready for true union with your twin.
The fact your twin flame is married makes the journey seem harder. The reality is I speak to a lot of people at different stages of their journey and a lot of them go through the same struggles even if their twin is single.
Think of the marriage as part of the journey. If it wasn’t the obstacle – there would likely be another.
And I know for a fact that at least some of you will roll your eyes at this. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of blaming the other person. Blame their marriage, your twin or even yourself.
But it doesn’t matter what has come before – all that matters is how you’re going to move forward.
Don’t Obsess Over Your Twin or Their Spouse
Probably the most common pitfall if your twin flame is married (or in any kind of relationship with someone else) is to obsess over them.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t think about them at all – it’s only natural. But the more time and energy you spend obsessing over your twin, their spouse or what they’re doing…the less power you have to navigate your own journey.
I know it can be painful at the moment (trust me, I’ve been there) but in the scheme of things, the moment won’t matter. The sooner you’re able to keep your focus on your journey – the sooner you’ll be able to move past this.
Will Your Twin Flame Leave Their Spouse?
While twin flame failure is possible in a single lifetime the chances are – yes. Their feelings might vary in the earlier stages of your journey but as you both progress down the path they’ll certainly see the difference between being with their twin flame and their spouse.
It’s important to remember that your twin flame still has a choice in the matter. You can’t force them to leave their spouse and it won’t work if they don’t want to be with you.
Remember, be patient. Trying to force the issue can only serve to slow you down. There are no set rules or timeline on this.
Follow the Signs
There are many signs which follow you through the twin flame journey. From number patterns to intense dreams about your twin flame. You might feel the telepathic connection between the two of you sharing emotions and thoughts.
These kinds of connections beyond the 3D will often give you an insight into how your twin is currently feeling. You might see that they’re considering leaving their spouse, thinking what life would be like with you or struggling with doubt and uncertainty that you can help them with.
Use these signs to guide you but (again) don’t become obsessed by looking for them.
The twin flame journey is one that can be filled with joy and sorrow at the same time. It’s important to keep your head down, follow what feels right for you and make sure you continue living a happy life in this world while not forgetting about who might be there waiting for you on the other side of this life experience.
If your twin flame is married (or you are) then it’s easy to feel doubt or uncertainty. If you need some guidance on your journey, take a moment to tell me about your path so far and I’ll do my best to help.
What if Your Twin Flame Goes Back to an Ex?
If your twin flame goes back to an ex and you’re not happy about it, don’t give up on them. It’s no different if they were married when you first met or they (temporarily) leave you to be with them again.
It stems from the same place. From not being ready for union and they’re likely dealing with pressures from society (and in this case a false twin flame).
“Love is a choice.” It’s often said we only feel hurt because of how much we loved in the first place – so don’t let that love go.
Treat this in the exact same way. Be clear with your twin but also be patient. Focus internally not on their false twin flame.