The reason twin flame separation is one of the more commonly discussed parts of the journey is because of how drawn out it can be. Periods of separation between you and your twin can be painful emotionally, physically and spiritually. It can distract you from your daily life and is kind of like going through a breakup like no other.
Twin flame separation is a painful, yet necessary, part of the journey. It’s largely misunderstood and far too many people sit around waiting for their twin to just ‘figure it out‘ rather than taking the time to fully understand what separation means. If you’re in separation neither of you are ready for union. While this might be tough to hear, it’s a good thing because it means you can do something about it.
Quick disclaimer here: I am aware there’s a dispute whether or not twin flame separation is a ‘stage’ of the journey. I don’t get bogged down in arguments and terminology. My goal is to help as many people reach union with their twin flame as possible and whatever name you want to give it, the end goal is the same.
I’m not a fan of wallowing in the separation phase. The twin flame journey is incredibly rare and I don’t think any of us should waste an opportunity to reach union with our twin, so when I talk about separation my goal is always on helping you end it. To do that, we need to start with understanding what it is.
What Is Twin Flame Separation?
Like many things in the twin flame path, it can look a lot different for everyone.
You might be physically stuck on the opposite side of the world, you might not have met yet in the 3D or you might have been in a romantic relationship previously and now your twin flame is dating someone else.
It doesn’t matter and it’s not a competition. However your separation looks, we’re going to have to approach it the same way.
The separation stage usually involves a twin flame runner and a twin flame chaser. It’s the most triggering and challenging part of the journey since it covers the whole spectrum of personal, emotional, and spiritual growth and development, including the phases of shadow work, karma resolving, and dealing with lower frequency behaviors, patterns, and feelings.
Sometimes these roles can reverse and you might find yourself switching back and forth for a while. I do suggest taking a look at my guide on understanding the twin flame runners’ feelings.
I know the separation phase can be painful.
Trust me, I get it.
I also know how important it is to take it not as an opportunity to wallow in this pain, but to make something from it.
Depending on the point where you’re at on this journey, it feels more or less triggering in various ways, but it also feels uplifting and inspiring as you’re making progress along the way. Since all you can and should do is focus on your own growth and development, you get the chance to do a lot of soul-searching, meditating, and use crystals and gemstones or other means to get guidance and support.
The separation happens in order to give the twin flames the chance to grow and reach union frequency as part of their ascension process. It involves a lot of pain for the twin flames, but it results in a lot of growth and ultimately in union.
I know (all too well) how difficult, frustrating and downright painful a separation stage can be. I hope I can offer you guidance to make it easier and get you through it but I’m not going to tell you there’s a way to click your fingers and get through it overnight.
What I can do is tell you that it’s worth going through this and offer you a twin flame reading for some guidance.
How Long Does Twin Flame Separation Last?
Simply put, the separation stage lasts for the entire length of the twin flame journey until union is achieved. So in a way, you and your twin flame will spend the large majority of your time in separation.
The separation dynamic usually involves two roles: the runner and the chaser. The runner is the one trying to postpone or avoid making progress on the journey, while the chaser is the one embracing and surrendering to it and their life purpose of achieving union.
Many associate the separation stage with a breakup in the twin flame relationship, but that’s only a small portion of the whole stage of being separated as twin flames. In fact, depending on the relationship blueprint you’re playing out during one or another of your human experiences (romantic, camaraderie, filial/fraternal/parental, mentor), you’re actually in separation even though you’re interacting with one another or having some sort of relationship even.
It’s important to understand that while you are in separation, there’s no break that happens to your twin flame soul bond. Your energy cord keeps you connected to one another during countless lifetimes and it’s a connection that never breaks. That doesn’t mean that you’re together for the better part of the journey, though. But the twin flame love never stops, even during the separation stage.
The twin flame bond is a soul to soul connection based on high-frequency unconditional love. It’s a love that transcends the human perception of a relationship or of being together in some capacity. Love is always there between the souls, no matter at what stage of the separation you’re at with your twin flame.
What Does Twin Flame Separation Feel Like?
There are some twin flame separation symptoms that are common, but you can also experience many others. Use these (or any other examples) as guidelines and not hard-set rules.
The No Contact Frustration
The no-contact phase of your separation journey is going to cover the parts of your human experience where you haven’t yet made contact with your twin flame, in the spiritual and/or the 3D realm. It’s also going to cover the part where you have made contact for a brief time but are then not interacting anymore. And it will also cover the time when you’re taking a break from each other as part of the separation and one or both of you decide to have no more contact with one another.
No matter which particular phase of that no contact you’re at, it usually is a source of intense frustration for both twin flames – that also includes the runner, in case you were wondering. Depending on the role each of you plays in the dynamic as part of one human experience, you’re going to experience the whole gamut of lower vibrational feelings, behaviors, and patterns, and thereby confront them and get the chance to heal them.
The Separation Blues
A significant aspect of the separation phase is feeling blue. You might feel sad, isolated, misunderstood, and you’ll most likely feel overcome with longing and yearning for your twin flame.
It’s a soul-deep sadness and it might be easy to feel overwhelmed by it every now and then. During those times, it’s important to reach out to others in the collective who are on the same journey or who are supporters at the very least. If you allow the blues to take over, it will lower your frequency and actually be counterproductive to your journey overall.
Struggling with and Overcoming Rejection
When you’re knee-deep in the runner and chaser dynamic, the feeling of rejection is one of the strongest shadows you’ll be dealing with. Both twin flames go through it, on one level or another.
The runner has feelings of rejection when it comes to their destiny and their life purpose, while the chaser is most likely feeling rejected by their twin flame that is in denial about their divine purpose. It’s important for each of them to heal these shadows and overcome them as part of the growth process.
Vivid Dreams of Your Twin Flame
During your separation, you’re most likely going to have some very vivid dreams as twin flames often meet in dreams during separation. Your higher selves connect with more ease while you’re asleep and your 3D self and its vibration don’t stand in the way of your interaction.
The dreams may feel like a much-needed reprieve from the actual separation, giving you both a sense of relief, joy, and fulfillment. But the reality of your 3D journey may come in as a stark contrast to that, causing lower vibrational reactions to it.
Intense Thoughts of Your Twin Flame
One significant part of the process is thinking of one another. While your 3D mind may be busy with various thoughts, the thinking of each other actually tends to go on in the background of any other thought. And you’ll be able to tell that you’re thinking of one another, too.
Exploring Twin Flame Telepathy
The more your energies harmonize, the more you’ll experience twin flame telepathy. It might freak you out in the beginning, but with time, you’ll find great comfort every time your twin will reach out to you via telepathy.
The more progress you make along the journey and the closer your twin flame relationship becomes, the stronger and more intentional the telepathy can become. You’ll be able to feel one another’s feelings and hear one another’s thoughts through the telepathic connection, strengthening your bond to mirror your spiritual connection.
Once you get the hang of it, this telepathic connection will feel like a true blessing and it can be exhilarating.
Anticipating Twin Flame Union
From a point forward, at least one (if not both) twin flames will feel a lot of anticipation for their union. The closer it will get, the more they’ll feel and see signs of reunion and the more anticipation there will be.
This can take several different forms. Sometimes the runner twin won’t fully understand what they’re feeling but they’ll certainly still notice the change in energy.
The anticipation might become overwhelming every now and then. Ironically, the lesson of patience is one of the toughest ones to learn during the human experience. Sensing that you’ll soon be together can easily make you feel impatient for the union to finally happen. Your soul has been yearning for it for lifetimes and your 3D human vessel will most likely have been looking forward to it happening for a while before union does happen.
What Do You Do When Your Twin Flame Is Separating?
Your twin flame choosing to put the journey on hold temporarily or for the duration of that human experience is part of their free will.
Here’s the important bit. If you don’t listen to anything else I say, please listen to this. You can’t use logic and reason to talk them around and you definitely shouldn’t just sit and wait for it to happen.
There’s nothing you can do about it in the sense of convincing them to think, react, or act otherwise. What you can do pertains to your own journey and the impact it will have on you both.
Focus on Your Own Growth
The wisest thing you can do during the separation phase is to focus on your personal, emotional, and spiritual growth and development.
Though you are on this journey together, you each have your own experiences and your own shadows and karma to process and heal. The more you focus on doing your work, the higher your frequency becomes, and the more it supports and inspires your twin flame as well.
During the twin flame separation, the best thing you can do for your twin, yourself, and your journey towards union is to do your work on yourself so you can ascend and radiate that high frequency into your twin and the soul bond.
Another thing you can do in order to support your own journey (and that of your twin) is twin flame meditation. I’m a big fan of this.
Meditation helps you directly when it comes to getting in tune with your higher self and making progress along your ascension, and as a result, it also helps your twin by your progress radiating towards them through your energy cord.
Though you can never do the work for your twin, you can send them those high vibes through your soul bond and hopefully inspire them to start making their own progress at their own pace. It’s not a competition but teamwork, after all.
Another tool I always tell people they should use on their journey is twin flame affirmations. I don’t think they’re as impactful as meditation can be, however they’re incredibly easy to do.
The simple act of programming your subconscious at the start of each day with a couple of affirmations can further your journey constantly. They can be so easy to do and while I have recorded affirmations for people to follow along with, you can easily write a couple of your own and just start your day with them.
Use Crystals and Gemstones
In order to focus on your own growth and development, you can use crystals and gemstones for twin flames, for instance. They are high vibrational by nature and can help you make a smoother and better-balanced transition from one frequency into the next, also supporting your healing process and overcoming whatever issues come up for yourself and also for your twin.
While you can’t have your twin interact with the crystals and gemstones during a no-contact phase, you can send them some of that energy through your soul bond. They will feel the benefits of that energy, even if it’s not aimed at them directly via immediate interaction or proximity to the crystals and gemstones themselves.
Get Guidance and Support
Getting guidance and support is a key feature of your own path towards ascension and achieving twin flame union. It can help you steer clear of some pitfalls or get out of them easier and with more grace when you do end up there.
You can actively seek support and guidance by reaching to the collective and other twin flames or supports, reaching out to your spiritual team, and the divine and the universal source. Even if you don’t reach out, you’re likely to see synchronicities during separation and get messages from this source that way every now and then.
Why Does Twin Flame Separation Happen?
There’s no easy answer to this one that will cover every cast but if I really had to sum it up: twin flame separation happens because neither of you is ready for union at that moment. Why that can be is going to vary but I want you to remember that part carefully. Neither of you is currently ready.
A Chance to Gain Clarity and Purpose
The twin flame separation can give you enough space to see things with more clarity and better understand the purpose of it all.
In some cases, that space can help you understand that while you are a twin flame, the one you think of as your twin flame may in fact not be your divine counterpart. You may be dealing with a false twin flame, for instance.
Because of the intensity of the twin flame experience, it can also become confusing or tough to navigate your path at times. So the separation phase helps to gain a clearer perspective and regroup.
Significant Spiritual Growth and Development
The twin flame separation is an essential part of the twin flame process towards union. It’s the part that triggers you and your twin flame and thereby encourages growth and development by facing your shadows and karma, resolving and healing them, and raising your frequency as a result.
It’s never a matter of your twin flame having some sort of toxic effect on you, though. Your true twin flame has nothing but a positive effect on you and your energy. Where there’s a negative effect, it’s either a matter of perception on your part or a false twin situation.
Twin Flame Separation Pain
While you’re going through the separation, it might be tough sometimes to understand that you’re both going through a lot of pain. It may be tougher on the chaser to see things that way, since they may see the runner’s options of putting the process on hold as the runner actually running from them.
Some of the pain that’s part of the twin flame separation process involves feeling confused, disoriented, anxious, inadequate, lonely, isolated, frustrated, and emotionally overwhelmed. Each of the two twin flames has some role-specific feelings added to that.
These negative feelings have low frequencies and actually impede progress towards union, so it’s important to understand that they need to be resolved and healed. The chaser is most likely going to have to start that process of resolving and healing and trigger it within the runner as a result. So in a way, the runner is a starting factor in the separation, but the chaser is the factor that initiates the healing process that leads to the separation ending by reaching union frequency.
Twin Flame Runner’s Pain
A lot of the twin flame runner’s pain can involve feelings of guilt towards themselves, their twin, their divine purpose which their soul is aware of even if they might not be at a consciously aware level.
Because of the energy cord between the twins, the runner is going to experience their own pain but also a significant echo of the pain the chaser is going through. And during separation, the chaser goes through a lot of pain. The energy cord transmits and amplifies it, thereby affecting the runner as well.
Twin Flame Chaser’s Pain
When it comes to the chaser’s pain, a lot of the role-specific issues they deal with involve the feeling of rejection, self-doubt, and powerlessness to move forward on the path towards union.
They are also going to feel a strong echo of the runner’s pain, which they or may not perceive as their twin’s pain at various points along the way. It can become even more triggering when they do realize it’s the echo of the runner’s pain, since some of their own low vibrational feelings may be amplified as a result of becoming aware of what the runner is dealing with.
Further Guidance on Your Journey
I know how difficult this stage can be. I can’t do the work for you, but if you want to tell me what you’re dealing with I can at least try and offer some guidance.
Things to Remember
Considering the fact that you and your twin flame will spend the better part of your path towards union in one or another stage of separation, the case might be made that the separation part is actually the most significant one you’ll deal with as part of your human experience – union is achieved after ascension, not as part of the human experience in itself.
The separation phase sucks but it’s there for a reason.
As you’re making progress on your separation phase, you and your twin are going to run into many different challenges and you will grow considerably. Even though your human experience self might feel like you’re going through it alone, you are never alone. Your separation phase of the path is also a team effort for you and your twin, just like the whole path is.
You also have the unconditional love and support of the collective, your spiritual team, and the universal source. Remember that you’re going through this because you are exceptionally strong, brave, and radiate the beautiful frequency of unconditional love. So keep going and doing what you are meant for: radiating out the divine vibe of unconditional love.