The most important part of twin flame healing is doing your shadow work. A proactive way of furthering your journey towards union but I’ll give you a heads up right away: we’re going to have to get into some brutal honesty here.
The process of twin flame healing and doing your shadow work means confronting uncomfortable truths about yourself. It’s a long-term process but the biggest thing you can do for both yourself and your twin to reach union together.
What is it, how do you do it and why does any of this matter?
What IS Shadow Work?
Firstly we have the pieces of ourselves that we are physically aware of. Our conscious selves.
Then we also have the pieces of ourselves which we have little to no awareness of. Subconsciously these pieces might have a major impact on your life but they’re deeply buried in our subconscious. Things we’re subconsciously disowning to such an extent that we’re not even aware of it. Often others can see it in us as clear as day but we’ll deny it when it’s pointed out.
This is completely normal, completely human and we all do it. I’m well aware many of you are probably reading this thinking “that’s not me” and this is why it’s such a problem in a twin flame relationship.
This subconscious holding ourselves back is never a good thing. It holds us back in any kind of relationship but particularly in a twin flame relationship where everything is mirrored back to us. It’s impossible to hide.
A big part of the twin flame journey is going to call on to confront these buried things holding us back. This is shadow work (named because we’re bringing these ‘dark pieces’ into the light).
So Important Yet So Often Overlooked
I have a personal connection to the twin flame journey and spend a lot of time talking to people about their own path.
I rant because I care is a line I’ve had to use a few times because shadow work is so damn often overlooked. It’s one of the biggest reasons I see people getting stuck in their twin flame journey. They get distracted looking for number patterns, twin flame telepathy or twin flame readings.
Don’t get me wrong. These things are excellent tools to give you guidance on the road ahead but they won’t do everything for you. If your focus is constantly on your twin and wait around for them to figure it out you risk delaying or even failing your twin flame journey this lifetime.
For the sake of both you and your twin please don’t fall into this trap. You have a rare opportunity to reach union by even being aware of the journey. Take advantage of it.
How to Do Shadow Work for Twin Flames
So we know what we’re dealing with. How does that actually work in practice?
Look at Your Triggers and Patterns
The whole reason these problems are so hard to deal with is they’re so hard to find. When we’re consciously aware of a flaw or problem with ourselves we might ignore it for a while but we’ll ultimately try and deal with it. Shadow work involves first FINDING the things holding us back and only then we can deal with them.
To do this we need to look at the patterns in our life. This is *rarely* a simple two-minute exercise because human memory is full of flaws and we tell ourselves little lies constantly (which is where journaling becomes very helpful for shadow work). Look at the things which have gone wrong for us and try to find patterns.
Easier said than done of course but if this kind of thing was easy to do everyone would be in union already.
Let’s look at a common example. A fear of abandonment is a common one that holds many people back in their relationships. Becoming too vulnerable with another person means they face rejection and (potentially) face pain. Many of us develop a reflex to this by not allowing ourselves to get too close. As a way of controlling this potential for pain, we withdraw or push people away before we get that close.
A fear of abandonment can manifest in many different ways but this is a common one. A problem in general, but obviously a problem for the twin flame journey and we can’t begin to deal with this until we first SPOT the pattern.
It’s incredibly common to convince ourselves we don’t have these problems to deal with. Failing to confront the truth we hide from ourselves is the quickest way to delay your twin flame union.
Fix the Root of the Problem
Update: A great way of doing this (or focusing on your healing process in general) is to use twin flame Reiki.
Once we find the problem the next step is to deal with it. To do that we need to start by tracing it as far back as we possibly can.
This is where things are going to take some real time and energy and there’s no one size fits all solution. For many, meditation and journaling are a good start but it’s all about honestly confronting our own flaws. Twin flame shadow work is (at its core) brutally honest self-improvement.
Rinse and Repeat
Once we’ve confronted a part of our shadow self and dealt with the root of the problem it can be tempting to look to our twin and expect the union to be right around the corner.
The good news is you might be right, and you’ve certainly taken a step in the right direction however, this experience is rarely ‘one and done’ however. The healing process usually involves dealing with a problem and then repeating the process.
Generally, the earlier stages of the shadow work process are easier (I won’t say easy). As your journey of healing and introspection continues you’ll get better at spotting these patterns and dealing with them but you’ll also be confronting the deeper-rooted problems.